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- is five minutes long.
- contains facts relating to technology.
- contains facts relating to the human race.
- may hurt your soul a little bit.
As a fan of professional wrestling, I get a lot of lip. People assume we're all the knuckle-dragging, white-trash, "Austin 3:16"-praising idiots they see on TV.
While I'm no genius in the area, and I try not to be an elitist, I know that it's fake. I enjoy watching two athletes execute potentially crippling moves without injuring one another. I appreciate good acting in a promo. I LOVE a good heel, like Chris Jericho.
That's why when I heard that Jericho "assaulted a female fan," I was moderately concerned. When I found out that the woman had been harassing him and her boyfriend had begun the physical altercation that led to Jericho punching her in the face, my only thought was that she should count herself lucky for not ending up in the hospital. The man trained in The Dungeon for goodness sake! You train with the Hart family and you have all the tools necessary to seriously eff someone up.
As a female who believes in chivalry and all that good stuff, I do not believe in hitting a lady. This woman, with her foul mouth and attempts to attack the Superstar while he was trying to drive off, is NOT a lady by any stretch of the imagination.
That's where I stand. Love it or hate it.
Justification: This is an article I wrote for potential publication in the campus newspaper. I'm darn proud of it. It is about professional wrestling. You have been warned. Pictures coming soon.
Monday night World Wrestling Entertainment produced their hit TV show RAW live from St. Louis, and their recent effort to move towards more family-friendly programming was obvious to those in attendance.
World Wrestling Entertainment, or the WWE has been the premiere professional wrestling organization in the United State for 25 years. In the late 1990's stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin, known for his colorful language and love of beer, were favorites among audiences. A memorable moment of the era included Austin holding a gun to the head of WWE President Vince McMahon. When the trigger was pulled, however, a flag bearing his slogan. “Austin 3:16” and the word “BANG!” brought roaring laughter from the crowd.
Such antics are from another time. WWE fans no longer rally around the vulgar, violent, and vicious stars of the past. The current World Heavyweight Champion, John Cena, enters the ring with a salute and is consistently involved in Tribute to the Troops, an annual event held for our men and women serving the country across seas. Intercontinental Champion CM Punk is a “Straight Edge” superstar who abstains from both drinking and drugs. While the wrestlers of the WWE are still the rock stars of their sport, the “good guys” of the game no longer bring grimaces to moms' faces.
The night began with a taping of another WWE installment, ECW. Kids across the arena cheered on The Boogeyman, a wrestler whose victories are followed by a large snack of live worms, which he proceeds to forcibly share with his opponents.
During RAW, the in-ring “good guys” were easily distinguishable. Early in the evening a tag-team match took place where Rey Mysterio and Kofi Kingston faced Kane and Mike Knox. Mysterio, a wrestler in the Mexican Luche Libre style complete with masks and high-energy moves, is a consistent favorite among young fans. Mysterio came out in bright blue pants and mask, and his partner Kingston, who is another high energy wrestler from Jamaica, wore bright green and yellow. Their opponents, the obvious bad guys, came to the ring dressed in black. Kane and Knox won the match through obvious cheating, to much of the crowd's dismay.
A mixed tag-team match featured more colorfully dressed good-guys, with CM Punk, the straight edge Champion wearing red and his partner Mickie James wearing baby-blue. William Regal, the former Intercontinental Champion known for his underhanded moves, and Layla were booed into the ring. Punk, on the other hand, was greeted with cheers from mostly younger fans. Once again, evil triumphed over good and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth.
The main event of the evening featured John Cena, a St. Louis favorite, against the pretentious Chris Jericho. Jericho, the self-proclaimed “Man of 1,004 Holds,” enjoys taunting not only his opponents, but also the audience. Throughout the match, a chorus of young voices could be heard chanting “Cena! Cena!” A stellar showing of athleticism on both men's parts ended in a victory for Cena, and the roar of the crowd was deafening.
Many groups seemed concerned about the effect the violent world of professional wrestling has on the many kids who are fans. With role-models who are patriotic, drug-free, and care about their fans, it's hard to see where some of these concerns come from.
Brandon, 11, said that his favorite wrestler of the night was, “definitely John Cena.” While his mom doesn't watch wrestling with him, she doesn't worry about him hurting himself.
“He knows it's not real,” she said.
Garrett, a five-year-old fan from Rolla, wore an orange Mysterio mask to the show. His brother Trevor, 9, showed his support for Jeff Hardy by wearing some of the star's armbands. Their mother brought them to the show as a surprise treat.
When asked if she worried about her sons imitating what they see on TV, she simply said “No. They're good kids.”
Rahm Emanuel. Captain F-Bomb. Possibly the current politician with the least self-censorship.
He is our new Chief of Staff.
Emanuel brings more to the Obama staff than colorful language. In fact, he brings something very important: a pro-Israel mindset. While I'm no guru when it comes to economic and foreign affairs, even I know that this is a good thing. Israel is a great ally, and many of us who are further right and less brainwashed than, let's say, your average Daily Kos reader, were worried about the President Elect's anti-Israeli contacts getting the best of his easily-influenced young mind.
But enough about the silly, meaningful things I like about Emanuel. Let's get to the good stuff:
- Rahm Emanuel once mailed a dead fish to a pollster who annoyed him.
- At a post-Lewinski appearance with Former President Clinton and British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Emanuel told Blair, “This is important. Don’t f*** it up.”
- As Chairman of the Democratic Caucus, Emanuel once told Democrats not to make appearances on the Colbert Report to "avoid embarrassing themselves."
Warning: The following video implies dirty, dirty words. You have been warned.
According to the Franken campaign, this is not a valid vote for Norm Coleman. You see, there are extraneous marks outside of the oval, and that may very well be an 'X' through the bubble.
"The Franken campaign challenged this Hennepin County ballot, saying the voter intended to vote for Franken, but mistakenly wrote the candidate's name in for Soil and Water Conservation District 5." More from Minnesota Public Radio.
As of last Wednesday, about 92% of the ballots cast in the race had been manually recounted, and despite attempts such as these from the former SNL Comedian, Norm Coleman was leading by a few hundred votes. There is still no clear winner, and seeing as ballots keep showing up in the funniest places... (*insert expletive that properly expresses my frustration*).
Honestly, though I may be a bad person for saying so, if it takes nearly a month to find your vote, it shouldn't count. If you can't follow directions that require you only to fill in the bubble next to the person you want in office and to get a new ballot if you make a mistake, your vote shouldn't count. Honestly, I'm against early voting in its entirety, and absentee voting should be limited to the elderly and those serving our country overseas. You can register to vote in your temporary residence with just a smidgen of forethought. Any program that is so blatantly ill-protected against fraud is not one that I want decided who makes my decisions for me.
If you're anything like me, you never really paid attention to who wrote the latest episode of your favorite show. You love (or hate) the plot, but you credit (or blame) the actors, or the directors, or maybe even the producer. I figured the writer didn't mean anything.
Then I had the pleasure of meeting Rift Fournier, who's written for shows like Charlie's Angels and NYPD Blue, and I learned that the writer is possibly the most interesting person involved in production.
I say that based solely on Mr. Fournier's personality. I could be dead wrong about the rest of them, so just in case I vow at this moment in time to never meet another one. I think it would be difficult to be a boring individual with a lifetime that began with an artist and a Frenchman, was changed by Polio, and included writing for Sid Caesar and working with Norwegians ("Scandinavia is seriously white. Not a diverse place.").
Of course, our class did not feature Rift for the sake of our amusement (though he is a thoroughly amusing man); we received some great advice.
"There are no original ideas in the world. None."
"Unless you're a reader, you will not make it."
"If you really want a job...bug the Hell out of them."
I gained new confidence in my spastic part-time career history when he told us how he put himself through law school as Deputy Sheriff and Deputy Coroner. At one point he wrote jokes for the prime price of $5 each while selling aluminum siding over the phone.
Advice is all well and good, but I honestly could not portray him through a few wise words and a brief life overview. Then again, I can't think of a way to really put the sense of entertainment that was abundant in that room into words. I mean, honestly, I don't believe there is a person in that class who was expecting a discussion of Grey's Anatomy ("She wasn't a dynamite dyke," he told us, reflecting on the firing of Brooke Smith.).
My notes are incomplete, because I was honestly absorbed in the stories he told. I've earned a new respect for people behind the scenes, and a different fascination entirely with Rift Fournier. Did I mention that his name was changed when he was young? The church wouldn't baptize him as Rift, because there weren't any "St. Rift"s, and as he himself said, there are "none in the near future."
P.S. Here is Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, in case you were curious. Check out www.drhorrible.com to buy the videos on iTunes.