The Virtual Record of My Opinionated Rantings

So it's Obama's War now?

2009-02-18T07:55:00.000-08:00

Since the Lindenwood network has blocked access to USAToday online, you'll have to take my word for the headline I thought I saw this morning regarding the war in Afghanistan. I was confused, since this seemed to be in a positive light. Over the last few years, any time I heard about Bush's War it was always in reference to his invasion of the Middle East.

As usual, Ace of Spades confirmed my suspicions. Uncle Jimbo also brought up a painful point about Born Again Americans that hurts my soul more than a little bit.

Unlike many of the Born Again ~~Ass Clowns~~ Americans who have just discovered they can love and respect their country for the first time in their adult lives, or at least for the last 8 years, I owned a flag and flew it when Clinton was President. I applaud the plethora of new flags I see around, but I think it represents a sad aspect of the patriotism of folks who only feel proud when their team is in power.

I'm such a bitter clinger.

2009-02-13T10:54:00.000-08:00

If you know me, you know that I love the Second Amendment even though I'm not a gun owner. I love the fact that the Founders promised to leave us the tools necessary to defend ourselves against threats, from an armed burgler threatening our family to an overbearing government threatening our freedom.

Reading Ace earlier brought to my attention a bill in Congress that, due to the Stimulus fiasco, I failed to notice.

Check out H.R.45!

U.S. Representative Bobby Rush (D-Ill.) recently sponsored H.R. 45, also known as "Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act." The bill is, at its core and as its name implies, a licensing and registration scheme.

The measure calls for all handgun owners to submit to the federal government an application that shall include, among many other things: a photo; an address; a thumbprint; a completed, written firearm safety test; private mental health records; and a fee. And those are only some of the requirements to be licensed! [emphasis mine]

The bill would further require the attorney general to establish a database of every handgun sale, transfer, and owner's address in America. Moreover, the bill would make it illegal to own or possess a "qualifying firearm" -- defined as "any handgun; or any semiautomatic firearm that can accept any detachable ammunition feeding device…" [emphasis added] without one of the proposed licenses.

...

H.R. 45 is essentially a reintroduction of H.R. 2666, which Rush introduced in 2007. H.R. 2666 contained much of the same language as H.R. 45, and was co-sponsored by several well-known anti-gun legislators--including Barack Obama's chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel. H.R. 45 currently has no co-sponsors.

Did You Know?

2009-02-13T00:58:00.001-08:00

Warning: The video you are about to view...

is five minutes long.
contains facts relating to technology.
contains facts relating to the human race.
may hurt your soul a little bit.

You have been warned.

Sesame Street: The Ralph Nader Edition

2009-02-13T00:57:00.001-08:00

Stupid Marks Make Me Look Bad

2009-02-09T11:20:00.000-08:00

As a fan of professional wrestling, I get a lot of lip. People assume we're all the knuckle-dragging, white-trash, "Austin 3:16"-praising idiots they see on TV.

While I'm no genius in the area, and I try not to be an elitist, I know that it's fake. I enjoy watching two athletes execute potentially crippling moves without injuring one another. I appreciate good acting in a promo. I LOVE a good heel, like Chris Jericho.

That's why when I heard that Jericho "assaulted a female fan," I was moderately concerned. When I found out that the woman had been harassing him and her boyfriend had begun the physical altercation that led to Jericho punching her in the face, my only thought was that she should count herself lucky for not ending up in the hospital. The man trained in The Dungeon for goodness sake! You train with the Hart family and you have all the tools necessary to seriously eff someone up.

As a female who believes in chivalry and all that good stuff, I do not believe in hitting a lady. This woman, with her foul mouth and attempts to attack the Superstar while he was trying to drive off, is NOT a lady by any stretch of the imagination.

That's where I stand. Love it or hate it.

The First (of Many?) Unconstitutional Move of Obama's White House

2009-02-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

President Obama has moved to place the Census Bureau under the control of the White House, or more specifically, under the control of Rahm Emanuel.

Constitutionally, the Census Bureau is operated by the Commerce Department. This is in the hopes of no one political party gaining the undeniable power of the Gerrymander. Every ten years (read=In 2010) congressional districts are redrawn. Congressional districts decide things like representation in the electoral college. A district that would be, say, mostly Democrat, would be sure to pass liberal legislation or to elect someone with a 'D' next to their name. Go figure!

Placing the Census Bureau, which possesses the information used in this redistricting and which plays a large part in drawing the districts themselves, in the hands of a politician with a definite agenda on either side would be, in a word, stupid. Stupid and illegal. And underhanded. And...

Well, you get my point.

CALLING ALL PETA MEMBERS!

2009-02-06T09:13:00.001-08:00

Barack Obama is officially an ANIMAL HATER. Observe in this series of completely undoctored images I found on the internet.

And now for something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

2009-02-03T09:17:00.000-08:00

Justification: This is an article I wrote for potential publication in the campus newspaper. I'm darn proud of it. It is about professional wrestling. You have been warned. Pictures coming soon.

Monday night World Wrestling Entertainment produced their hit TV show RAW live from St. Louis, and their recent effort to move towards more family-friendly programming was obvious to those in attendance.

World Wrestling Entertainment, or the WWE has been the premiere professional wrestling organization in the United State for 25 years. In the late 1990's stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin, known for his colorful language and love of beer, were favorites among audiences. A memorable moment of the era included Austin holding a gun to the head of WWE President Vince McMahon. When the trigger was pulled, however, a flag bearing his slogan. “Austin 3:16” and the word “BANG!” brought roaring laughter from the crowd.

Such antics are from another time. WWE fans no longer rally around the vulgar, violent, and vicious stars of the past. The current World Heavyweight Champion, John Cena, enters the ring with a salute and is consistently involved in Tribute to the Troops, an annual event held for our men and women serving the country across seas. Intercontinental Champion CM Punk is a “Straight Edge” superstar who abstains from both drinking and drugs. While the wrestlers of the WWE are still the rock stars of their sport, the “good guys” of the game no longer bring grimaces to moms' faces.

The night began with a taping of another WWE installment, ECW. Kids across the arena cheered on The Boogeyman, a wrestler whose victories are followed by a large snack of live worms, which he proceeds to forcibly share with his opponents.

During RAW, the in-ring “good guys” were easily distinguishable. Early in the evening a tag-team match took place where Rey Mysterio and Kofi Kingston faced Kane and Mike Knox. Mysterio, a wrestler in the Mexican Luche Libre style complete with masks and high-energy moves, is a consistent favorite among young fans. Mysterio came out in bright blue pants and mask, and his partner Kingston, who is another high energy wrestler from Jamaica, wore bright green and yellow. Their opponents, the obvious bad guys, came to the ring dressed in black. Kane and Knox won the match through obvious cheating, to much of the crowd's dismay.

A mixed tag-team match featured more colorfully dressed good-guys, with CM Punk, the straight edge Champion wearing red and his partner Mickie James wearing baby-blue. William Regal, the former Intercontinental Champion known for his underhanded moves, and Layla were booed into the ring. Punk, on the other hand, was greeted with cheers from mostly younger fans. Once again, evil triumphed over good and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth.

The main event of the evening featured John Cena, a St. Louis favorite, against the pretentious Chris Jericho. Jericho, the self-proclaimed “Man of 1,004 Holds,” enjoys taunting not only his opponents, but also the audience. Throughout the match, a chorus of young voices could be heard chanting “Cena! Cena!” A stellar showing of athleticism on both men's parts ended in a victory for Cena, and the roar of the crowd was deafening.

Many groups seemed concerned about the effect the violent world of professional wrestling has on the many kids who are fans. With role-models who are patriotic, drug-free, and care about their fans, it's hard to see where some of these concerns come from.

Brandon, 11, said that his favorite wrestler of the night was, “definitely John Cena.” While his mom doesn't watch wrestling with him, she doesn't worry about him hurting himself.

“He knows it's not real,” she said.

Garrett, a five-year-old fan from Rolla, wore an orange Mysterio mask to the show. His brother Trevor, 9, showed his support for Jeff Hardy by wearing some of the star's armbands. Their mother brought them to the show as a surprise treat.

When asked if she worried about her sons imitating what they see on TV, she simply said “No. They're good kids.”

Rahm Emanuel: The Amusing Kind of "Dirty" Politician

2008-12-08T03:54:00.000-08:00

Rahm Emanuel. Captain F-Bomb. Possibly the current politician with the least self-censorship.

He is our new Chief of Staff.

Emanuel brings more to the Obama staff than colorful language. In fact, he brings something very important: a pro-Israel mindset. While I'm no guru when it comes to economic and foreign affairs, even I know that this is a good thing. Israel is a great ally, and many of us who are further right and less brainwashed than, let's say, your average Daily Kos reader, were worried about the President Elect's anti-Israeli contacts getting the best of his easily-influenced young mind.

But enough about the silly, meaningful things I like about Emanuel. Let's get to the good stuff:

Rahm Emanuel once mailed a dead fish to a pollster who annoyed him.
At a post-Lewinski appearance with Former President Clinton and British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Emanuel told Blair, “This is important. Don’t f*** it up.”
As Chairman of the Democratic Caucus, Emanuel once told Democrats not to make appearances on the Colbert Report to "avoid embarrassing themselves."

Warning: The following video implies dirty, dirty words. You have been warned.

Al Franken: I have to win. "People like me!"

2008-12-08T03:17:00.000-08:00

According to the Franken campaign, this is not a valid vote for Norm Coleman. You see, there are extraneous marks outside of the oval, and that may very well be an 'X' through the bubble.

"The Franken campaign challenged this Hennepin County ballot, saying the voter intended to vote for Franken, but mistakenly wrote the candidate's name in for Soil and Water Conservation District 5." More from Minnesota Public Radio.

As of last Wednesday, about 92% of the ballots cast in the race had been manually recounted, and despite attempts such as these from the former SNL Comedian, Norm Coleman was leading by a few hundred votes. There is still no clear winner, and seeing as ballots keep showing up in the funniest places... (*insert expletive that properly expresses my frustration*).

Honestly, though I may be a bad person for saying so, if it takes nearly a month to find your vote, it shouldn't count. If you can't follow directions that require you only to fill in the bubble next to the person you want in office and to get a new ballot if you make a mistake, your vote shouldn't count. Honestly, I'm against early voting in its entirety, and absentee voting should be limited to the elderly and those serving our country overseas. You can register to vote in your temporary residence with just a smidgen of forethought. Any program that is so blatantly ill-protected against fraud is not one that I want decided who makes my decisions for me.

I'm Not Good With Numbers, But...

2008-12-08T03:01:00.000-08:00

...aren't we already far enough in debt that the last thing we should be doing is handing out billions of dollars?

I don't know. I've only taken math classes through Pre-Calculus, and I don't pretend to be an economist. All I know is that we are several trillion dollars in debt.

Maybe it's the capitalist in me coming out to ~~complain~~ play, but shouldn't companies in financial trouble have to file for bankruptcy like the rest of us?

I understand that the Big Three supply this country with a good number of jobs, but by doing little things like cutting CEO pay and retiree benefits I'm sure they could save a whole bunch of money. Generally, a business-minded response to dipping profits is cost cutting. Once again, this is a fairly amateur analysis...

I think if these folks in the auto industry really need a loan, they should just go straight to the Chinese for it. If they want to avoid commies, maybe they could give George Soros a call...he has money to burn.

Where is the Obama I Hated?!

2008-12-08T02:52:00.000-08:00

I worked so hard to inform everyone I could about the inherent danger of an Obama presidency. I cried on a local television show no one watched on election night.

Now I am left looking like an idiot.

The more work the President Elect does setting up for his next four years, the harder it is for me to hate him with the passion I held for so long. Honestly, I'm a little peeved.

Barack Obama's cabinet appointments alone are irritating for me. He is making intelligent decisions! He's not just jumping left and paying his dues; Obama is actually choosing people with strengths he lacks.

Let's take the appointment of Senator Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State. The one thing the two of them fervently disagreed on during the Democratic primaries was foreign affairs. Hillary had an approach that I could actually respect, while Obama wanted to hold hands and sing around a campfire with foreign enemies. Honestly, he was admitting (however subtlely) that he has NO CLUE how to deal with hostile nations.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Obama/Clinton Sarcasm

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Sure, I still disagree with him fundamentally on many things, but he's playing the part of a moderate far more than he is the liberal. I like that.

I'd Vote Libertarian if it Wasn't a Waste

2008-12-08T02:50:00.000-08:00

I believe in personal responsibility, government non involvement, and the Constitution.

That is why I want this shirt.

That is all.

But...What About the First Amendment?

2008-12-08T01:15:00.000-08:00

We've all heard a good deal of chit-chat about the Fairness Doctrine. I really feel no need or desire to talk much about it, since anything that forces national media outlets to be fair would hurt everyone (including the liberal majority currently running our country). It won't pass.

You know what Obama likes more? Localism.

Both Localism and the Fairness Doctrine require government regulation of public airwaves (radio) to enforce some level of fairness. Unlike the Fairness Doctrine, which requires stations to air both/all views on a controversial subject, Localism simply requires broadcasters to cater to public interest. While this is a better plan in theory, seeing as it leads to approval on a local level, this can be a terrible problem for radio stations attempting to turn a profit. Sure, 97.1 Talk in the St. Louis area will still have it's fair share of conservative talk radio, but Localism will cut down drastically on nationally syndicated programs. Also, since any station must please the community, this would mean that the same station would be required to air a program about, say, why abortion is awesome if the local Planned Parenthood supporters requested it. Such diversity makes it difficult to acquire any consistant audience. Furthermore, the preference against national programming would mean that costs would skyrocket as individual radio stations were forced to produce many more of their own broadcasts. When profit decreases as costs increase, there is a fundemental business problem.

Basically, in my opinion, localism stomps all over both our First Amendment rights to speech free of censorship or regulation as well as a business owner's right to succeed.

This all goes back to my fiscal conservatism: let those who have the motivation to do so succeed. Period.

A (Rather Late and Amatuer) Analysis of Media Bias in the 2008 Election

2008-12-08T01:02:00.000-08:00

When the Russians, the folks living in a country where,

"[a] typical news broadcast on all three channels consists of showing Putin and government ministers hard at work, feel-good reports on life in the armed forces, and historical features related to the Soviet defeat of Nazi Germany.”

say that we had a problem with a slant in the media, it must be bad.

Yes folks, that is right. The Russian Central Elections Committee did a study of news coverage over the course of the election and found that while news outlets spent significantly more time covering John McCain that, "the material that makes up that time difference can be assessed as negative."

These are the same folks who's own political news about their leader and national government is three-quarters positive and one-quarter neutral.

Last I checked, 3/4 + 1/4 = 1. That leaves NO room for negative reporting.

We aren't there yet...just wait for Localism.

[To Be Continued...sort of.]

Why I'm Conservative(ish)

2008-12-07T20:15:00.000-08:00

I believe it would be inaccurate to peg myself as a straight conservative. I am more of a moderate, though I do have my leanings.

Basically, what it all boils down to is the fact that I do not believe in punishing success or in rewarding laziness. I am going through seven years of post-secondary schooling and spending tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of dollars doing so with the intent of someday being successful. Yes, I want to make ridiculous amounts of money, because that is my personal idea of want I want from my life. If you are happy working ten hours a week at McDonald's, more power to you, but you should reap only what you sow. I have no desire to support the family you chose to have.

Insensitive? Maybe, but I am not here to save the planet. Before you complain about a lack of opportunity to attend college, remember that the United States Government is more than willing to educate you if you are willing to put your life on the line for this country. If you really want to learn, you will be willing to work for the privilege. Do it.

In a nutshell, that is where I stand. William Churchill is credited with saying that if you are not liberal when you are young, you have no heart, and that if you are not conservative when you are old you have no brain. I think I'm ahead of the curve.

Revelations (or F*** You 52)

2008-11-14T21:12:00.000-08:00

It's taken me a week to realize that, in the same spirit that brought us sorryeverybody.com, I can complain all I want about the outcome of this election. Go ahead and call me a sore loser, because hypocrisy makes me giggle.

SorryEverybody.com - Post-Election 2004

From52to48withlove - Post-Election 2008

After those stunts, you really shouldn't be the ones calling for unity. With the way unrepentant conservatives have been treated over the last four years (I've only been politically conscious for a little over a year now, and even I've noticed it), I'd still be willing to suck it up and be the bigger man about this whole losing thing...then again, that was before this campaign happened. I watched ignorant fanatics devalue the laws that give our candidates what integrity the political world allows them. I had my character attacked by those who drank the Kool-aid and wanted nothing more than to shake my confidence. Their goal was to shut me up, and they succeeded for a few hours in the crucial days of this election. You made a teenage girl cry, and now you want to kiss and make up?

Obama is getting a break from me until inauguration. Trust me, the second anything goes wrong (his policies, foreign relations, natural disasters, whatever) I will be jumping onto my soapbox and reminding you who I voted for and how many times I tried to warn you.

I wanted you to keep the change. One of my friends is optimistic, though. His hope? "I hope I'll have a job tomorrow." He's ready for the change...the transition of his neighborhood into some third-rate slum.

You didn't want to play nice four years ago. Now to get us all on the same side you're going to need to work. If you want me to blindly support the man you put into office, you need to come up with something substantial that can radically outweigh the things I've learned and you've chosen to ignore.

I don't believe in the unproven. I need substance in my politicians, my leaders, and my Messiah.

I am not going to attack Barack Obama until he does something wrong, but there is no way in Hell I'm going to support him before he's done anything right.

Me in my Dorm Room - Post-Election 2008

The "Gentile Mel Brooks"

2008-11-14T03:30:00.000-08:00

If you're anything like me, you never really paid attention to who wrote the latest episode of your favorite show. You love (or hate) the plot, but you credit (or blame) the actors, or the directors, or maybe even the producer. I figured the writer didn't mean anything.

Then I had the pleasure of meeting Rift Fournier, who's written for shows like Charlie's Angels and NYPD Blue, and I learned that the writer is possibly the most interesting person involved in production.

I say that based solely on Mr. Fournier's personality. I could be dead wrong about the rest of them, so just in case I vow at this moment in time to never meet another one. I think it would be difficult to be a boring individual with a lifetime that began with an artist and a Frenchman, was changed by Polio, and included writing for Sid Caesar and working with Norwegians ("Scandinavia is seriously white. Not a diverse place.").

Of course, our class did not feature Rift for the sake of our amusement (though he is a thoroughly amusing man); we received some great advice.

"There are no original ideas in the world. None."

"Unless you're a reader, you will not make it."

"If you really want a job...bug the Hell out of them."

I gained new confidence in my spastic part-time career history when he told us how he put himself through law school as Deputy Sheriff and Deputy Coroner. At one point he wrote jokes for the prime price of $5 each while selling aluminum siding over the phone.

Advice is all well and good, but I honestly could not portray him through a few wise words and a brief life overview. Then again, I can't think of a way to really put the sense of entertainment that was abundant in that room into words. I mean, honestly, I don't believe there is a person in that class who was expecting a discussion of Grey's Anatomy ("She wasn't a dynamite dyke," he told us, reflecting on the firing of Brooke Smith.).

My notes are incomplete, because I was honestly absorbed in the stories he told. I've earned a new respect for people behind the scenes, and a different fascination entirely with Rift Fournier. Did I mention that his name was changed when he was young? The church wouldn't baptize him as Rift, because there weren't any "St. Rift"s, and as he himself said, there are "none in the near future."

P.S. Here is Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, in case you were curious. Check out www.drhorrible.com to buy the videos on iTunes.

Question (Satiate my curiosity AND get participation points!)

2008-11-07T00:08:00.001-08:00

Two questions:

1) What career path are you exploring? Specifically, I'm curious about legal and broadcasting/media fields.

2) Who did you cast your vote for on Nov. 4th?

I am curious. Your answers can help me figure something out, and I'd really appreciate it.

I can also promise not to attack anyone for who their ballot was cast for. You all know where I stand, and the election is over and I am going to be living under the same administration as everyone else.

The Election is Done, Obama has Won!

2008-11-04T22:00:00.000-08:00

Learn the new words.
There will be a test on Thursday.

2008-11-04T16:09:00.000-08:00

'Twas [A Few] Night[s] Before the Election

2008-11-02T04:17:00.000-08:00

Twas the night before the elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!

I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.

When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys

They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!

He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink

He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!

On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi'
He screamed at the pairs!

They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight!

So I leave you to think
On this one final note-
IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM
GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!

My Favorite Blog Will Probably Piss You Off

2008-11-01T00:19:00.000-07:00

My favorite blog, the one I check without fail every time I hop online, is Ace of Spades.

Ace of Spades is run by a fellow I know only as Ace. Ace is a football fan and a conservative. Now, there are plenty of conservative bloggers out there. Most of them, to be so frank, are either drier than the Sahara or dimmer than a Red Dwarf. Ace, on the other hand, is quick and witty and often concise. All of those are things I appreciate. His colleagues/cobloggers/cohorts (/anything else beginning with "co-") are cut from a similar cloth, and it's a very enjoyable way to stay in the loop.

Witticisms aside, I suppose the main reason I enjoy AoS so thoroughly is the fact that between their ridiculous numbers of both bloggers and tipsters, they keep up on the news cycle for me and just give me what is worth hearing. While their idea of worthwhile news may be a bit biased, it's a bit biased in the same way that I am, so I have no complaints.

I also enjoy the videos they post. I've included a vidoe many of you have probably already seen of some children from an amazing school in Atlanta Georgia singing about voting. I found this on AoS earlier today. I figure if you are a) a conservative b) are open minded or c) want to complain about people are the Internets being mean you can follow these links to something I consider to be far more important: a couple stories that make Obama's Chicago-style politics rather suspiciously apparent.

Fine, Ignore Me Because I'm Racist

2008-10-31T13:59:00.000-07:00

Call this guy racist for pointing out Obama's flaws.

Fair warning: This video include satire, honesty, and will probably not be easily viewed on the Lindenwood server.

Convergence: A Big Word for Something We Take for Granted

2008-10-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

There's this little show I like to watch, called House. This show is about a cynical jerk wad of a doctor who is sort of a super genius. Dr. Gregory House, the title character, is played by the brilliant and oddly attractive Hugh Laurie (see image at right). The only problem I've found with House is that it airs on Tuesday nights. Tuesday nights I spend sitting in an ugly chair next to the door of my dorm building playing Solitaire and listening to music.

Did I say this was a problem? I meant this is awesomeness in physical form.

Why? Well, you see, Fox decided to put full, current episodes of House online.

This is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Even though I don't get to watch it as it airs, I have the privilege of being paid to play mindless computer games and I don't have to miss out on my favorite show.

Fox knows that in this electronic age, the way to succeed is through the brilliant and deliberate merging of communication mediums. They know that people like me have a busy schedule, and would often rather watch their favorite shows at 2AM as opposed to 8PM.

The best part of House, aside from the British eye candy, is the dialogue. Dr. House says some positively snarky and hysterical things throughout each episode, and Fox knows it. Fox took the liberty of giving me a directory of the best quotes from each episode!

"Dying people lie too. Wish they'd worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don't save it for a sound bite."

We're Too Old For Candy

2008-10-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

Since we've reached the age a good deal past trick-or-treating, and dressing in re-purposed lingerie is so last year, why not supoprt a cause this Halloween?

We all know about Trick-or-Treat for Unicef, but I'm talking about something that requires far less effort.

"How, Tori? How can I change people's lives through my costume?"

Well, here are a few friendly suggestions.

Dress up as a cartoon or nursery rhyme character (Little Red Riding Hood still allows for a short skirt) and carry a sign/wear a button/tell people about how ACORN is letting you vote for the first time! Note: For those of you more drawn towards horror, dressing as a zombie, ghost, or some other obviously dead thing works for this as well (though in that case it would be the first time voting since the '60s.).
Dress as an ACORN recruiter (this is an appealing idea since you can utilize your existing wardrobe) and walk around with a clipboard registering people to vote! Obviously you won't be registering the person inside the costume, but the character themselves.
A variation on #2: Wear all your Obama gear and start accepting donations from people's characters. Addresses such as 2345 Fak Addrss Lane are acceptable.
Dress up as some sort of large cat (this leaves 'sexy' options, ladies) and wear Hilary paraphernalia. You are now a PUMA (Party Unity My [bottom]). Talk about how Obama stole the primary and your new found love for Sarah Palin.

There you have it. Four suggestions for those of you who thought you'd spend Halloween as a drunk college student. Enjoy.

No wonder the Obamessiah didn't want the public campaign financing...

2008-10-29T08:20:00.001-07:00

...because who needs support from the government when you can get donations from citizens with such amazing credentials!

Name: JarackBoe BOamabiden
Address: 2345 Fak Addrss Lane
Phone: 555-555-5555
Email: barackjoe@obama.com

Name: John Galt
Address: 1957 Ayn Rand Lane
City: Galts Gulch
State: CO
Zip: 99999

Oddly enough, the individuals attempting these donations also tried the same information through McCain's site and were rejected to to a disagreement between identity information and credit card information.

This is a standard safeguard on any online commerce tool.

The usual reason for disabling it is to allow for overseas donations.

There's the information. Check out Ace of Spades for a more in depth appraisal of The One's financial doings.

Old News, but I'm Still Curious

2008-10-28T08:22:00.000-07:00

How come people who've registered with unverifiable information get to vote,
but men and women serving our country overseas can't?

It seems more than a little unfair to me.

This election...

And the winner is...

2008-10-17T06:03:00.000-07:00

...Joe the Plumber!

By far the most interesting of the debates was the third and final presidential debate on Wednesday night. It was obvious to any observer that not only is Obama now confident in his lead, but also that McCain is sick of him.

But let me tell you the story of Joe the Plumber. Joe the Plumber was hoping to buy the small business he has worked for for years. One day he approached Senator Obama and brought up the fact that, under Obama's plan, he couldn't afford to. Senator Obama responded by saying that he didn't want to punish Joe's success, he only wanted to make sure that those behind him could succeed as well. Obama believes that when you "spread the wealth" everyone benefits.

John McCain spent a good deal of the debate talking about economic policy directly to Joe the Plumber. Political gold, let me tell you. When someone on national television is speaking to a blue-collar worker with a name and a face, they're really talking to a good chunk of America.

On some questions, like the one about how suited each candidate felt their running mate was to hold the office of the president, Obama had a distinct advantage. Let's be honest: McCain didn't pick Sarah Palin as his running mate because of her stunning political background. Palin brought charisma to the ticket, and she rallied the far right base that McCain had lost by being too moderate for their liking.

Then there were the times when McCain managed to make The Golden Child look genuinely uncomfortable. After hearing the first prompt he could vaguely relate to it, McCain jumped into the debate with "ACORN this," and "Ayers that." I was intrigued to see Obama's normal response to personal attacks (of laughter) now be accompanied by him turning his head down, closing his eyes, and shaking his head. While I may be over-analyzing something that was simply Obama trying to play it cool, it intrigues me.

While we're talking about body-language, though, I can't help but mention the multiple times McCain seemed to be looking at Obama with an expression of forced placidity. His eyes said, "I'm going to eat your soul, Barack." (Pictures to come)

Discussions over health care and Supreme Court appointments were almost obligatory, and each candidate answered along party lines on health care and McCain answered correctly on appointments, stating that he would apply no litmus tests to justices.

I wish this had been the first debate. As a McCain supporter, I believe there would be a fleeting chance for a Republican victory were this the first debate with only more like this to come. I fear that the performance by McCain was lost on the masses who, at this point, would jump off a cliff if Obama only told them they should. It is too little too late. Between ACORN and idiots, Obama is the next president of the United States.

And I'm moving to New Zealand.

Procrastinators Unite...Tomorrow!

2008-09-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

"If I had to make a choice, to choose the government without the press or to have the press without the government, I will select the latter without hesitation."

-Thomas Jefferson

Any time you study something, it’s great to have access to an expert in that field. The best way to learn Mandarin would be by having a study buddy who just happened to be from China. The best way to learn about cooking would be from a master chef. The best way to learn about the print news media is from someone who lived in it.

Bob Wiggington is one of those people. He spent years working as a journalist, doing everything from hiring reporters to traveling to high-conflict areas in Afghanistan, before he ended up teaching at Lindenwood University. On Monday, I, along with my fellow classmates, had the opportunity to just listen to him talk.

Despite the demanding deadlines and people who couldn’t have been crueler, Mr. Wiggington told us that working as a journalist was likely to be, “the greatest job I could ever have because I felt like I was doing something.” Newspapers have always been the citizens second line of defense against the government (with the first being the Constitution). He pointed out that with the widespread layoffs that are a result of more and more people getting their news either online or not at all are going to cause us as a nation widespread problems dealing with our government. When the politicians are only hiding their dirty laundry from 100 people instead of 100,000 it becomes infinitely easier to simpler.

Over the last week, I’ve been thinking about this. Is the only reason the media may fail to do their watchdog duties because there are fewer journalists? Is there more to the story? I spent one week paying more attention than ever before to the print media, and some things became clear.

First, I found it impossible not to agree with Mr. Wiggington on the fact that many papers (USA Today, St. Louis Post Dispatch) may very well be to busy pandering for readers to actually care about stories and content any more. Brightly colored cover pages illustrate every story with blown up shots of sports teams, politicians, and celebrities to the point where one can’t tell the lead story from the filler.

Another thing that may worry me and no one else is the fact that, for the last few months at least, it would seem that all brackets of the news media are too busy falling head-over-heels in love with Barack Obama to report objectively on just about anything political. Were we to rely wholly on the print news media, we would know only that this “Mr. McCain” has been trying to steal lovely Senator Obama’s thunder. For my token bit of editorial in this blog, I must say that I hope in the end of this love fest, the press gets herpes, because they obviously aren’t using protection.

Then again, that last sentence obviously has nothing to do with the facts and everything to do with the fact that I’m racist.

Media and My Sisters

2008-09-18T02:43:00.000-07:00

Media...what is media? (You are probably reading this and wondering why I'm bothering with such a stupid hypothetical question, seeing as the only people who may read this are in my class on the subject, but bear with me.) I tried defining the term myself in a clear and concise manner, but I failed miserably. As a result, like any good Gen Y-er, I went to Google for the answer.
Among other things, media is defined as, "A vehicle or group of vehicles used to convey information, news, entertainment, and advertising messages to an audience." Now that I had a proper definition to work with, I could really wow the Internet!

Like it was supposed to, this got me thinking about what this mysterious being is and how it impacts me. Then I realized I am too strong of will and mind to be impacted by such things (that was sarcasm. I felt I should point this out seeing as it's in writing and not in person), so I focused more on the effect it has on my sisters.

My sisters, Kara and Lauren, and 12 and 10, respectively, and I love them to death. They are also heavily influenced by the media, specifically the pop-tween genre (don't Google that term, I just made it up). They have their Jonas Brothers T-shirts from the $100 a ticket concert they went to, they own copies of every High School Musical movie and like to sing and dance like ~~prostitots~~ the girls in the movies. They love Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana (which they tell me are two totally different musical styles and attitudes) and they use Disney’s made-up slang.

I finally learned that there is actually a name for this phenomenon. My sisters, as young and short as they are, are models. Well, they participate in modeling, a behavior in which they take on the behaviors, clothing, and sometimes even speech patterns that the media tells them are preferable. Don't get me wrong; if my sisters are going to be influenced by what television calls cool, I'd much rather they get their influence by some teenage boys wearing purity rings or a teen star who just wants people to like her for who she is.

As dangerous as it is, I started thinking more. "Self," I said, observing how ridiculous it was to talk to myself at 2AM, "if Kara and Lauren, who are so young and who are only exposed to a select amount of media, can exhibit this behavior, what would happen if I took a closer look at my peers?"

While waiting for my room mate to fall asleep after that odd awakening, I figured out the answer. While my sisters and their friends may blatantly model themselves after Disney stars, my political circle definitely proves that we only hear what we want to, but we let what we want to hear influence us by giving more fuel to the fire of our political fervor.

My conservative friends get their news from Fox News, while the more liberal among them tend towards internet sources (blogs, The Daily Kos, and other such sites). In most arguments between these groups, the respective side will quote verbatim from the canon of their particular news source. In 9 cases out of 10, these supposed "news bites" will be more biased than [insert something really biased here].

I suppose that all I'm trying to say here is that the media holds great power over our nation, specifically the future of it. This power is a responsibility, though they seem to treat it like a toy at times. I never thought I'd write an argument where Disney ends up acting infinitely more responsible than the people giving us the news.

Oh well, there's a first time for everything.

Ruben, My Newest (and only) Friend from Panama

2008-09-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

On a warm day in September, sitting in a swing outside of Roemer Hall I met Ruben, a freshman student from Panama. Wearing his Abercrombie shorts and Chuck Taylor’s, he seemed more than acclimated to the American social scene.

I figured I break the ice with a pretty standard American greeting.
“How much influence does American media have on you in Panama?”

The answer was “a lot. We are very, very influenced by American media.”

I asked him to clarify.

He told me that on cable, he “had 300 channels, and 230 of them were American. 70% of our broadcasting is from the states.”

He said that for international news, almost everyone watches CNN (and BBC, but we don’t care about those silly Brits, do we?), but for obvious reasons they watch local television for national news.

Ruben’s favorite shows are all on MTV. I learned this when he started talking about shows I’ve never seen. Then again, I spend more time on the internet than in front of the TV.

Not only did he know more about American television than I do, but also about American fashion. When I asked him about what sort of American advertisements he’d seen, he mentioned Abercrombie, Dolce and Gibbana, and American Eagle. “These brands I’m saying, I knew them from before I came here.”

I asked if he and his friends act and dress like Americans and he said that depends a lot on your social circle and social standings. “Cheap places sell American clothes, but they’re knock-offs.” He and his friends watch American television and he arrived in the states with an Americanized wardrobe.

“How about American movies. How many do you have in Panama?”
“Oh…a lot…”
“All of them?” I asked.
“All of the good ones. About 85% of the movies are American. When you go to the movie theater, most of them are American.”

In Panama they have access to newspapers like The New York Times and The Miami Herald, but when I asked if he read them often he replied no, that only the “elite people read those.”

“Does the government have any restrictions on the media?”
“No,” was his simpler reply. There are no restrictions on speech, but he said they also don’t have many problems with things like hate speech that would require governmental interference.

When I asked him about the internet, he told me that he has a Facebook account and his homepage is MSN. After a short pause to swap Facebook information, we got back to business.

Ruben was great at beating me to the punch when it came to questions. “Panama has a lot of different kinds of people…but mostly Americans. Americans and Panamanians obviously.” He went on to say, “If you have a country that is mostly Spanish people, they will be influenced by Spain…a small country might not be influenced by much…we have a lot of Americans, so we are influenced by America.”

I would try to make a better conclusion, but I don’t think I can.

Coming Between 1980 and 1992: The New Apple iGeneration!

2008-09-04T22:57:00.000-07:00

Millennials, like the generations before us, are an anomaly to our elders. We are something new and unique and mind blowing. The entire market is changing to accommodate us, and we can’t but bask in the glory…

But are we all that different?

The answer, I’d have to say, is yes. While I’m sure there are gross exceptions to the rule, I’ve gone through the checklist to see if I’m fit to call myself a member of Generation Y and found that I’m fairly textbook.

I get up in the morning and allow myself time to check my e-mail, web comics, and news blogs before class. I have a Facebook and a MySpace and (obviously) a blog. I am readily capable of navigating Google and YouTube. I’m writing all of this on my laptop while listening to music that may or may not have been downloaded from a website based in Russia. The only time my cell phone leaves my pocket is to charge at night while I sleep…or stay up IMing the same people I would be calling. The apparent monotony of the Internet is endlessly amusing when you have the attention span of a caffeinated squirrel.

What I’m saying is that yes, I am a pretty standard example of Generation Y, but only in the technological aspect.

I understand to demands of a job, and I don’t intend to be allowed to work in shorts, wearing flip-flops, or during any hours I please. I don’t honestly think that as many of my contemporaries as some sources would want us to think do. Certainly, a fun workplace is a perk, but one would have to be entirely idiotic to believe that they will spend their days making the fortunes they feel they deserve lounging on a couch in torn jeans after stumbling into work around noon.

Then again, who am I to have an opinion as to this generation’s character but ~~a naive~~ an optimistic member of it?

Included below for, really, just my own amusement is a spoof on the 60 Minutes coverage of Generation Y.

No, this is not my homework...

2008-09-03T22:31:00.000-07:00

...I was just filled with an overwhelming desire to talk about something none of my friends want to hear about at 1AM.

Sarah Palin, John McCain's VP pick, is a headstrong, intelligent, beautiful woman with integrity, grit, and...what is that other important thing...oh yeah, EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE.

I'm sorry to burst any liberal bubbles (that's a lie; I'm not the least bit sorry to do so), but she has as much, if not more experience in an executive capacity than Senator Obama would have after his term in office, should the American people choose to ~~lose what few wits they have~~ elect him. (And if his time as President would be anything like his time as Senator, he'd spend most of that term campaigning for Emperor.)

Please, I beg of you, try to tell me that being Governor of Alaska makes her less prepared than being a Community Organizer (whatever that is) in Chicago. Please.

Try to point out that being a member of Congress makes Obama, who managed to find time to write two memoirs but no legislation, who voted 'present' over 130 times, more eligible for the presidency simply as a result of his proximity to the nation's capitol. I keep forgetting that experience pandering to the bureaucracy is more important than experience leading people and making real decisions. (It should be noted that in her time both as Mayor and as Governor, Sarah Palin never once voted 'present.' Then again, 'present' isn't an option when you have real responsibilities.)

Jump down her throat for sticking to her platform which is pro-life and pro-family by not aborting her own child when she learned he was suffering from Downs Syndrome, and by not casting out her pregnant daughter Bristol, who is marrying the father of her own child.

While no one would have any qualms if Mr. Palin were the nominee, please remind me that she should not be running for office as that will take time away from her family. I hear Democratic women are allowed to have jobs and things...radical idea when it comes to bite you in the butt, isn't it?

Also, I invite anyone to correct me if I was misguided in my belief that Obama didn't write his own acceptance speech any more than Sarah Palin did.

So yes, bring to me your poor, your weak, your huddled masses. Bring me your confused and your self-righteous. Better yet...bring me an argument against Palin that won't hurt the Democratic ticket if applied to the illustrious Freshman Senator or his running mate. And in the mean time...tell me that Piper isn't adorable.

Even though calling it Satan Worship makes it sound more trendy...

2008-08-26T23:19:00.000-07:00

What is passion? Is it a fleeting thing that overwhelms the senses and fills the self with a sense of euphoria and obsession, or could it be a result of one embracing a topic as a result of an intense appreciation for it? Is it something else entirely? Regardless of what scholars will define it as, we all have at least one. I, for one, have many, ranging from politics to kittens to theatre, but I believe the one I will share with the vast host of individuals the Internet consists of is my passion for Dungeons and Dragons.

Dungeons and Dragons, henceforth referred to as “D&D” is a pencil-and-paper role playing game that made its debut in 1974. Despite the poor reputation it has acquired for supposedly being an occult practice and for being a home to smelly 30-year-old men in their mother’s basements, it’s really a harmless way for nerds to express themselves creatively and showcase their ability to on-up one another through “Munchkin-ing,” or exploiting loopholes found in the rules to make a character overpowered. Also note that of my gaming group all of them smell fine, none of them over 25 live in their mothers basement, and only one of them is actually 30. As proof, here is a picture of my old gaming group.

I shouldn't delve too deeply into rules and lingo without at least explaining what the game is. In a D&D session, a group of four to six players is led by a GM, or Game Master. The players each portray a character who is some sort of heroic, while the GM controls all of the adversaries or plot-essential characters who assist by contributing pieces of knowledge or equipment. The players embark on quests in which they earn “XP,” or experience points which help them to make their characters more powerful. There are battles whose outcomes are determined by rolls of the dice.

I could write about the technical aspects or the stereotypes until I get carpal tunnel, but I believe this video will give you the best idea of what D&D is…or at least how most people imagine it.

That is my passion, as nerdy as it may be. On the up side, I’m one of very few girls involved, which means that I am subconsciously favored by most GMs. In short, this means that I am less likely to die or fail at anything I attempt simply by the grace of my nature.

Dungeons and Dragons: It’s a beautiful thing.

Ten Minutes Until Philosophy

2008-08-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

I do believe that this is what we as a generation lovingly refer to as a "blog." Here, my assumed audience, is where you will find my opinions and thoughts as they are being recorded for my class on the Media. I will try to keep this as interesting as I can in the hopes of gathering an audience that extends past my professor.

Hello.
I'm Victoria, Tori, or Hey You.
I think, therefore I am.
I imagine, therefore I am free.

Enjoy your stay in my mind!